Frustrated

I know I shouldn’t expect too much of myself as a newbie blogger, but maybe it’s my high standards or something, I don’t know; I’m just really frustrated at how long it takes me to get my thoughts in a coherent enough form to post.

When I finally do, the topic I’m posting about is already out of date and there’s just no point. I just now deleted a draft of something I was trying to post last week, only 4 or 5 days ago, because it’s not relevant anymore. And even at the time I was drafting the post, trying to include links and whatnot, together with my own thoughts, it was taking me forever. I was only trying to do this brief little thing in the middle of the other demands of my day, but it ended up being so awkward and cumbersome and slow that I had to just walk away and ultimately scrap the whole thing.

I’ve always been slow at stuff — I do read pretty fast, but that’s about it — and that’s been a source of frustration most of my life (I have this whole story about when I was learning to sew, and how long it took me to make a garment compared to my classmates, but it would take too long to tell). I’ve got to develop some kind of system, whether it’s working with a timer (mine just now went off) or whatever, because I really want to do this but I’m never going to get anywhere with it if it keeps on being frustrating for me.

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