Author Archives: plum

31 Days of Life in my Hawaii Day 3:: Food: Papaya

Almost ripe enough to eat

The Coach and I are breakfast eaters — we just can’t manage without a morning meal — and for us it always includes a piece of fruit.

Just as with rice at dinner, I can’t not have fruit with breakfast. (This got to be a bit of a problem a couple years ago when I went on the South Beach Diet and you can’t have ANY FRUIT AT ALL for the first two weeks. I didn’t like that).

A lot of the time, the fruit we have is the same stuff you have with your breakfast on the mainland: half a grapefruit, cantaloupe, berries. But our favorite, and one we have at least half the time, is papaya.

There is nothing like fresh, chilled, island grown papaya, but I have to admit it’s probably an acquired taste. One of my earliest memories is of sitting in my grandmother’s kitchen while she made breakfast for my grandfather, and of her giving me a taste of his papaya. It has a luscious, silky sweetness — which might be countered with a little squeeze of lemon or lime — but which as a toddler kind of made me gag.

So I don’t know exactly when it was that I started liking it, and my kids never had the same problem; its soft flesh makes it the perfect baby food when you are starting them on solid foods. In fact papaya and poi were two of the first solid foods I gave my babies right after the introductory rice cereal.

Breakfast isn’t the same without it

Apparently it’s full of good things, like vitamin C and lycopene. One of my girlfriends ate a ton of it during her pregnancies because she said it helped alleviate gas. I, um, don’t know about that, but I do know papaya is one of the best ways to start the day!

This is the third post in my series, 31 Days of Life in my Hawaii. Click here to get the links to the other posts in the series.

31 Days of Life in my Hawaii Day 2:: Music and dance: Hula

As much as “iconic” is a somewhat overused term these days, I think we can agree that the hula dancer is the iconic image of Hawaii.

Admit it: when I first said I’d be spending this month talking about Hawaii, an image of a hula dancer probably popped into your head.

And for me, as for you, hula IS Hawaii, and vice versa. This part of Hawaiian life is so big, so personal, so meaningful for me that I scarcely know where to begin.

I was 7 or 8 here, at a performance at the Kapiolani Bandstand

Here’s my experience with hula in a nutshell: I started taking hula lessons when I was four years old. Over 50 years later, I still do. In between, I’ve learned and performed dozens, maybe hundreds, of dances, watched countless performances, danced in hula competitions, missed it something awful while living on the mainland, passed on my love of the dance to my daughter.

So I guess you could say that hula has been and is a big part of my life. I love everything about it: the sweet melodies of the songs I’ve danced to, the charming poetry of the lyrics, the unique and sometimes challenging footwork of the steps, the graceful hand motions that tell the story, the subtle but eloquent facial expressions — all of which, taken together, make for a truly unique art form.

I plan to post some more about hula performances and competitions in the islands as we go through this month, to give you an idea of the significance of the dance in our lives here. I myself don’t perform anymore, and my competition days are long since behind me.

But tomorrow night I’ll join my hula brothers and sisters, as I do every Wednesday, at our hula class and — for the sheer joy of it — we’ll dance to our old favorites. Because hula is a part of me, and I don’t ever want to stop dancing.

This is the second post in my series, 31 Days of Life in my Hawaii. Click here to get the links to the other posts in the series.

31 Days of Life in my Hawaii: Day 1

Aloha, and welcome! I’m joining a few hundred other 31 Dayers — go check them out! — and trying my best to post something every day this month. I’ll keep this page updated with links to each day; scroll down to see Day 1: your introduction to life in my Hawaii.

Day 2: Hula

Day 3: Papaya

Day 4: Plumeria

Day 5: Kolea

Day 6: Leis

Day 7: Discoverers’ Day

Day 8: Beach

Day 9: May Day

Day 10: Strawberry Guava

Day 11: Red Ginger

Day 12: Mongoose

Day 13: Baby Luau

Day 14: Kawaiaha`o Church

Day 15: Surfing

Day 16: Merrie Monarch

Day 17: Rice

Day 18: Tiare

Day 19: Gecko

Day 20: Aunty and Uncle

Day 21: Museums

Day 22: Canoe Surfing

Day 23: Wedding hula

Day 24: Malasadas

Day 25: Lehua

Day 26: Monk Seal

Day 27: Aloha Friday

Day 28: Ghost Story

Day 29: Paddleboard

Day 30: Ka Himeni Ana

Day 31: All Pau!

I am keiki `o ka `aina. In Hawaiian it means, literally, “child of the land.” What it means in real life is that I live in Hawaii, I’m from Hawaii: Hawaii is my home.

When I was growing up here, our mainland friends and relatives, taking advantage of the fact that ours was the only family they knew living in Hawaii, would come for one or two week visits fairly often. It seemed like we were constantly hosting some family or other throughout the summer or winter holidays.

As a kid, I liked that. I liked getting to do the touristy things with our visitors: driving to the North Shore, or visiting Pearl Harbor, or taking in the Kodak Hula Show in Waikiki. Or doing anything in Waikiki, which in the days of my youth was somewhat more family friendly than it is today.

On the flip side, our mainland friends also got to just live with us and experience our everyday lives. They got to enjoy the foods we ate, the flowers growing in our yard, the activities and hobbies we enjoyed on the weekends, and of course the culture, customs and traditions that form the framework of our identity as islanders.

In most ways, everyday life in Hawaii is probably pretty much the same as everyday life anywhere in America: We commute to work everyday in traffic (the worst in the nation), we shuttle our kids to school and soccer and Little League practice, we eat lunch from McDonald’s or Subway at our desks in our offices downtown or in the industrial park. We worship on Sundays in churches large and small, and when we get vacation time, we travel to, um, other islands. Or Las Vegas.

But to live in Hawaii, to be from Hawaii, is a far different thing than to just visit. And I’m not just talking about how high the cost of living is, or the fact that it takes us 5 hours — in the air — to get to the next state over.

Maybe you’ve visited Hawaii, or maybe you haven’t but you’ve wanted to. Maybe you or your family did live here for a time, but now you don’t. In any case, your perspective of this place is more than likely to be that of an outsider rather than an insider.

So for the next 30 days, it would be my pleasure to show you around — just the way we used to when mainland friends came to visit — and give you the insider’s view. I’ve got close to six decades of living in and loving this place, which Mark Twain has called “the loveliest fleet of islands that lies anchored in any ocean.” Ano ai — welcome to life in my Hawaii!

My boy and me, hanging out

Body Heat

Me, in the prime of life

So yesterday I had my annual appointment with my OB-GYN. He’s the same one I’ve had since I got married, he delivered my babies, and he has calmly has seen me through all sorts of wacky female issues. Which, now, in my 50’s, get yet wackier, as together we navigate … dun, dun, duuunnnn … menopause.

I’ve seen my mother and other older women deal with the Change of Life, but you never really get what it’s all about until you’re experiencing it firsthand. And the one thing that has been hardest of all to wrap my head around (not to mention LIVE WITH) is hot flashes. Very difficult to explain to someone not familiar, as it were, with the idea, but let me try it this way:

Back in my 20’s I joined a health club, sort of a precursor to the 24 Hour Fitness concept, which hadn’t yet come into being. Thirty years ago it was sort of a novelty, with its lap pool and hot tub, and steam room and sauna. I didn’t care much for the steam room, but I sort of liked the sauna; I’m not sure why. That intense dry heat was kind of hard to take; you had to force yourself to sit there on the wooden bench and just stand it for a certain amount of time. Drawing that hot air into your lungs, you might feel as if you were suffocating, but you knew you should stay and bear it because somehow it was good for you.

That’s kind of what a hot flash feels like. Only without the reassurance that it might be good for you. The other night — well, it was morning, actually; 3:00 am — I woke up to an unbearable heat that was coming not from the outside but from the inside. The inside of me, that is. It was as if I were some sort of human radiator. And it didn’t stop. When I first started getting hot flashes, they reminded me of being in labor: you know, when you have a contraction and it builds to a peak and then gradually subsides after about a minute? Your average hot flash is like that, lasting altogether a couple or three minutes. Not this one that night. I just lay there and radiated for about 20 minutes, soaking my pajamas and the sheets, while I pondered the possibility of death by elevated body temperature.

And remember, here in the tropics where I live, it’s still basically summer. The thinnest cotton sheet anywhere on me, even a toe or two, feels like I’m being smothered under a down comforter.

Anyway, my doctor couldn’t really tell me how long this nifty little phase of my life is going to last. All I know is nowadays I won’t go anywhere anymore without a little fold-up fan, and tissues to mop my brow (and neck, and upper lip, and ahem, decolletage). He did suggest that the next step might be hormone replacement therapy, which sounds a bit scary to me, even though I know countless women have opted for it and lived to tell the tale. I decided to hold off for now, but the more I think about it the more I suspect it won’t be very long before I’m calling my doctor back: “Ya gotta DO something, Doc! I can’t TAKE it anymore!” Maybe a bit less desperately than that. Maybe not.

D*mn dog

There are some days — not many, but some — when I would really like to strangle my dog. Today, you may be guessing, is one of them.

Here’s the thing: I am an unabashed dog lover. I think dogs are just the best pets ever. When it comes to dogs, I’ve got it as bad as anyone; just love ’em. But I have to say, I really prefer big dogs. I don’t seem to have as much affection for little dogs. I don’t know why that is. But the bigger the dog, the more I’m going to love it, and the smaller the dog, the more I’m … not.

However I think my next dog, much as it pains me to say, is going to have to be a small dog. Because the big one I’ve got has almost gotten to be too much for me to manage. I probably won’t end up killing my dog, as crazy as he has driven me, but there’s a chance he might kill me first.

As he almost did — again — this morning on our walk.  Do you ever watch the Dog Whisperer? And you know how his mantra is that dogs need exercise, discipline and affection — in that order? That makes pretty good sense, so I’m fairly faithful about walking my dog every day, because I figure a brisk half-hour walk is probably as good for me as it is for him.

The problem is, when we set out each morning, I have to remember that I’m walking Jekyll and Hyde. Which you’d never guess just by looking at him. I mean, look at this:

Sweet, huh? How about this:

What an angel. Most of the time he is, honest. But he has a dark side. (And I’m not just talking about the outside.) He has a problem with other dogs, which is that he really, really loathes them, and will go to any lengths to let them know what an affront they are to his very existence. And there will certainly be biting involved.

And when that happens, and I’m on the other end of the leash, I’m usually the one who ends up getting the worst of it. To wit:

This is the result of him taking off after the *evil* sheepdog who had the audacity to be walking down the same street as us, thus dragging me along the asphalt. Which makes this the fourth or fifth time I’ve come home bleeding (with a ruined manicure to boot) from what ought to be a nice bit of morning exercise, with a 75-pound Labrador Retriever who is apparently possessed by demons.

So I turned the air just a tad blue — sorry, neighbors — as I picked myself up off the pavement and tried to stanch the bleeding as best I could, and did my best to remember that he really is a good dog. Most of the time. When he doesn’t require the services of an exorcist.

Counting my blessings

a countable blessing: sunrise from my deck

So the other day when I was whining mentioned that Halloween is my least favorite holiday, it occurred to me that it’s actually closely followed by my most favorite holiday, which is Thanksgiving.

The thing that’s so great about Thanksgiving, well, two things really: number one, it’s all about the food — who’s gonna ever complain about a holiday that revolves around food? — and number two, it isn’t only about the food, it’s also (duh) about being thankful.

I mean, every November in America, you’re practically forced to stop and take stock and acknowledge the things you’re grateful for. And in my opinion, that’s one thing it’s good to be forced to do. So it seems kind of a shame that for the most part we only gear up to do it once a year.

Of course, that’s not true for everyone. Oprah for one is famous for her gratitude journal, which lots of people have decided is a good idea and put to use in their own lives. There’s even an app for it, which is kind of a clever 21st century spin on your grandmother’s admonition to count your blessings.

Which is what I’m doing today. Just since I woke up this morning, all sorts of little things I’m thankful for have popped into my head. Here’s a sampling:

  • that our boy finally, after months of searching, was able to trade in his gas-guzzling truck and get a practical, four-cylinder car that had all the specs he wanted and was in his price range (now The Coach can stop with the obsessive late-night searches on Craigslist);
  • that our girl is on her way to Chicago today for a volleyball tournament, having made the cut for the traveling team (Go Bearcats!);
  • that tomorrow I’m finally getting this weird thing taken off my tongue, which may mean a few days of liquid meals following the surgery, but that could be a positive if it translates into losing a couple pounds;
  • that The Coach (so far; knock wood) has had a relatively drama-free season with his team. Truly a blessing that he has a pleasant and easy-going group to work with, which is no small thing to be able to say about a gaggle of teenage girls;
  • that a Pilates studio recently opened up in my neighborhood, and I’m going back to Pilates classes again a couple times a week. I feel better already!

I could go on, but that’s good for now. What sorts of blessings are you counting today?

Falling behind

No offense to anyone who loves fall, but: ugh.

So if Labor Day is unofficially the last day of summer, then I guess that means today is unofficially the first day of fall.

Thereby making it my least favorite day of the year. Because without question, fall is my least favorite season.

Allow me to indulge in a little mini tirade. (As if you didnʻt already figure out thatʻs whatʻs going on here.) Can someone please explain to me whatʻs so great about autumn? One minute youʻre relaxed, tanned, and not having to dress in layers; youʻre drinking ice tea/margaritas/lemonade by the pool/lake/ocean — the next, youʻre all, get serious! back to work! and there you are, toiling away under the fluorescent lights in your windowless cubicle.

And when you go back to work, not only are you not wearing white anymore, but youʻre limited by apparel retailers to selecting from among black, brown and charcoal gray for your wardrobe choices. Mostly black. And thatʻs not even a very good color for you.

Iʻm convinced that people who claim fall is their favorite season are eternal optimists. They’d have to be, to think that fall colors, crisp air, Halloween, football, etc. are just the best things ever and canʻt wait to be raking leaves and cozying up to the fireplace with their hot chocolate.

You can have it. Since I’m from the tropics, none of that’s happening for me anyway. Except of course Halloween, which is hands down my least favorite holiday (a whole other story; don’t get me started), and football, which I have to grudgingly admit is for me the exception that proves the rule. But it seems like it’s the intangibles of fall that are the hardest to get around.

You know, like how your to-do list grows from one or two items to a dozen or twenty overnight. And now you have endless soccer practices to drive back and forth to, and homework checks, and parent-teacher conferences, and late (takeout) dinners, and shorter days on top of it all. Which means commuting in the dark. Both ways.

And by the time Thanksgiving rolls around, you’re just thankful that fall and its attendant unpleasantness is mostly behind you, and at least now you have Christmas to look forward to. Which the retailers have been helpfully reminding you since about mid-October.

Sigh. I’m no eternal optimist, obviously, so I’ll just bear with this season and try to remember that summer’s just nine months away. Practically right around the corner.

Growth(s)

You know how older people are always saying things like, “If I didn’t look in the mirror, I’d never know how old I am. I feel just the same as when I was in my 30’s.” Or that old quote from Satchel Paige: “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?”

Good question. As I transition from my “mid-50’s” to my “late 50’s,” it’s getting to be almost a daily thing, this taking inventory of how you feel, and whether or not your physical self is going to be able to take on the day’s various challenges. Because sometimes you don’t know.

But sometimes your body speaks loud and clear, with tangible reminders as to just how old you are. You never used to get these sorts of reminders when you were younger, so at first they’re somewhat disconcerting. Like when you start to get age spots. Or growths.

I’ve had a few growths in the past couple years, and I’ll tell you, they’re not only unexpected, they’re also annoying. Like last year when I had this wart that showed up on my shin. Weird. So I went down to the CVS and bought some wart remover, which is basically a little adhesive patch, loaded with salicylic acid, which you stick right on to the wart and then leave it there. After 24 or 48 hours, whatever, you take the little sticker off and presumably the wart comes with it.

Since I just said, “presumably,” you may have guessed it didn’t work for me, and you would be right. That wart was right at home there on my shin, and not only decided to stay and hang out awhile, but also invited a friend to join it. That’s right: I now had two little warts side by side on my leg, on board for the duration.

So on my next visit to the dermatologist — and by the way, the dermatologist is someone else you’ll get rather well acquainted with in your golden(ish) years — I told him to kindly do away with my two warty friends; he was happy to oblige. With a process that involved a certain amount of local anesthesia and the smell of burning flesh. I smelled rather than saw it, because I didn’t exactly want to watch.

So now I have a nice smooth leg again (albeit with a teensy little scar), but as luck would have it, another growth. This one’s on my tongue. Which I have to say: yuck. So yesterday I met with the oral surgeon to discuss getting this latest intrusion out of my life, er, mouth. He wasn’t terribly concerned about it, more than likely just a benign fibroma, easily removed, blah blah blah, so he told me to set up an appointment to come back and give it the old permanent solution. Oh, and eventually I might want to do something about the little tiny one that’s starting to show up on the other side of my tongue.

Dude. Seriously? When does it all end? Do we just accept that senior citizenship is going to be one big carnival of growths in various places both mentionable and un? Because I kind of shudder to think where the next one(s) will show up. And how I’m going to have to deal with it/them.

This so isn’t what I thought they meant when they said, “You never stop growing.”

Sorry if this is too much information. I know it kind of is for me.

Sheepish

I am a city girl, therefore lacking much firsthand knowledge of things having to do with farming, ranching, livestock, agriculture and so forth. But I have done a little bit of studying on the subject, particularly when it comes to sheep.

That is to say, I’ve been going to church long enough to have heard a couple or ten sermons reminding me that we humans have more in common with our counterparts of the ovine persuasion than we’d care to admit. And recently I got to see how true that really is.

One of the highlights of my mainland vacation earlier this summer was our two-day road trip from Oregon to Colorado. Not long after we crossed over the state line from Utah into Colorado, we came upon this scene: a rather large flock of sheep on the highway. Or rather, on the highway itself as well as on either side of the highway. They were more or less all going in the same direction, albeit not very quickly, and grazing as they went. As best as we could make out, there was only one hapless shepherd on horseback for all those noisy mamas and babies. There was also another horse without a rider, but way behind the rest of the group, so not of much help. And maybe half a dozen to eight sheepdogs in the midst of everything.

By the way, did you know there are two kinds of sheep dogs? There are the herding dogs, whose job it is to keep the sheep all together and going where they’re supposed to go. Then there are the guarding dogs, whose job it is to defend the flock from predators. The herders won’t really do the guardians’ job, and vice versa, so I imagine a flock of any size might need both kinds, don’t you think?

Anyway, despite the fact that nobody in the group was moving with much alacrity — and thus our car crept along behind at slower than walking pace, so I hopped out to shoot some pictures — it was a little chaotic. The poor shepherd had to keep going from one side of the road to the other, trying to get the grazers on one shoulder to move along, then he’d have to ride over to the shoulder to shoo that bunch out of the sage.

Goodness, or maybe Mercy

Meanwhile the dogs must have been in the sheepdog union or something; they saw me get out of the car and decided they were on their break. I’d always heard that sheepdogs are intensely single-minded and driven to work; these guys looked like they’d take any excuse to loaf a bit. So three or four of the doggies and I made friends while the shepherd shot me dirty looks from up on his horse, for distracting his employees.

Through it all, the sheep kept more or less on their sheep-y way. In any sermon on Psalm 23, the pastor is likely to point out that sheep are not the most intelligent members of the animal kingdom, which is his roundabout way of saying that’s how we look to God. And I’m not disagreeing with that; left to our own devices, we bipeds will stumble our way through life, at best, and at worst make a total mess of things. If it weren’t for the Good Shepherd making us lie down in green pastures and leading us beside still waters, let’s face it, we’d be wandering around forever in the sage brush, bleating for help. Also, imagine what would become of us if our guardian (or herding) angels, Goodness and Mercy, didn’t follow us all the days of our lives.

Eventually we got out in front of the flock and were on our way at normal highway speed. As we passed the last of the flock, my heart went out to that poor shepherd, working so hard by himself out there in the middle of nowhere, trying to get all those bleating slowpokes to their destination, wherever that was.

Then, I offered up a little prayer of thanks: for the opportunity to see a Bible lesson played out in real life, but especially for God’s patience with me, a humble member of his flock. Baa.

Letter to my husband

Dear Coach,

4:50 am: for the first time in 3 months, the alarm goes off. Now your routine changes, from waking at sunrise to waking an hour before it. You will get up, shave, shower, eat breakfast, and drive to work in darkness. Most days, you won’t really mind. Some, you will.

5:30: I get your lunch bag out of the drawer where it has been stowed for 3 months, and make you a sandwich and a fruit salad, your lunch today, as it has been for many years, every week, Monday through Friday. While I do that, you are putting 10 or 12 greens and fruits into the blender for your breakfast. We work together in the kitchen without speaking, the motions of our tasks a choreographed routine we do from muscle memory.

6:00: we eat breakfast together in silence. You read the sports pages; that’s all you have time for. By 6:20, you are upstairs brushing your teeth and putting your backpack together, finishing getting ready for the day. By 6:35 you are out the door; I kiss you and wish you a good day, knowing it will be another 12 hours until I see you again. Maybe longer. And knowing all our weekday mornings for the next nine months will look like this.

I listen to the birds waking as I return to my coffee and the newspaper; I’ve got a lot to do today but I’m not quite ready to get started. And, I’m indulging in a little sadness, facing this tangible reality that summer is over and you must again put on the hat that says Teacher.

The parents of your volleyball players joke with me, every year it seems, that they are going to “borrow” you from me for a few months. “But don’t worry,” they laugh, “at the end of the season we’ll give him back!” Every August, when summer ends, I have to hand you over again, to your students and players (and their parents). I’m not ready. I never am, this time of year.

Still, I say a quick prayer of thanks, for the blessing of being married to a teacher. I love that we get to spend (most of) the summer together, and I even love living in the special rhythm of the school year with you. I love the stories you bring home of your students, and colleagues, and all the adventures of teaching and learning you’ve gotten to experience for the past 28 years.

Thank you for sharing your summer with me. It was a good one this year, wasn’t it? I’m already looking forward to next year, to having you back, all to myself, for 3 months. In the meantime, know that I’m so proud of you, and praying for a great nine months for you.

Happy New Year!